If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
