So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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