I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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