Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
