We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
