I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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