Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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