This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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