seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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