He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
