I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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