god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
