I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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