whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
