Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
