new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
