I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
