Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
