arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
