This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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