at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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