Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
