Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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