Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
