I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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