I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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