I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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