Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
