he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
