Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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