her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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