i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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