haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
