Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
