Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
