As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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