The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
