Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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