You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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