belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
