Swine flu. Run for my life!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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