I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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