hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
