i just google imaged poop.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
