I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
