I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
