he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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