just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
