Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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