You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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