It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
