If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
