Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize