so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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