ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
