Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
